Ann Arbor Transit Authority is Bussin to Bowls!

Winter season got you down? Are you a failure at bowl pick em's and memorabilia collecting? Did you almost make it in college but you blew out your knee in spring practice freshman year at Division II Mercyhurst? We'll the Ann Arbor Transit Authority aka "The Ride" has a deal for you.

Pack up your Jerry Rice posters because we are hitting the road. Touring cities that host some of your favourite bowl games. Field passes, tours, even great food! All we need from you is two forms of government issued identification, a deposit of $19.95 and don't forget to get in you parental permission slips.

I'm sure your interest has been piqued, but you're probably

• Asking your wife for permission to have your balls back
• Jumping on this deal before it shoots up to $99.99
• Clutching your Ryan Leaf rookie cards
• Wondering about the "fabulous" locations.

Let's not bullcrap each other. You need this. So let's blow that last paycheck you got from Wal-Mart and enjoy these fantastic destinations.

Detroit-Home of the motor city bowl, the greatest football franchise ever and soothing rhythmic soul music. Have you ever wanted front seats to the death of the American auto industry?

Washington D.C.-What is the EagleBank and why do they have a bowl game? Lot of history in this town, also the smell of garbage trucks. If you can avoid the construction and take in all of "Chocolate City" you'll definitely be back for more.

Las Vegas-You can't afford it.

New Orleans-Mmmmmm the smell of a state fair year round. Southern hospitality. Where else can you get a funnel cake on this corner, and robbed on the next one? Hold on to your wallet, butthole and febreeze....you're gonna need all of them.

Charlotte-This city is more known for the banks that are headquartered here. I don't trust banks, I trust this guy:

Yes , Augustus Meineke. When he wasn't writing hot adult erotica he was studying catalytic converters and constructing exhaust systems. He was so skilled in the art of mufflers he created a repair company so aptly named Meineke Car Care in 1836. He ran several locations in the tri-county area until his death in 1870, when his son, a failed cable repair man brought the company to New Jersey.

Shreveport-See New Orleans

Birmingham-Close enough to Talladega. Boogity boogity boogity, lets go racin!

Mobile-Where?

Fort Worth-Its right across the street from Big D. We all know who plays for Big D. Getcha popcorn ready, its gonna be a SHOW.....on a little smaller scale, however.

Boise-They have a blue field. Boise IS NOT A STATE!

Nashville-First in line when legislators thought it was more efficient to put the state capital as close to the centre of the state as possible. Too bad the eastern and most western parts of the state are full of extras from the movie Wrong Turn.

Toronto-While visiting our neighbors to the north be sure to assist the newly homeless. You may recognize them as your neighbors Billy Ray and Mary Sue. They fled here to escape socialism after Obama was elected only to find out Canada is kind of socialist, they are now anti government and Darwin is anti them.

Finally we have come to the end of our 2 million mile journey. Now back to reality, Monday water cooler discussions and shift huddles.

Stay tuned for more updates, we may be going abroad. Can you say Jaurez, Mexico?

We Ballin' Boy!

I hardly ever write about the NFL as its full of overpaid mouth breathers with a increasingly inept playoff structure*. Now that Muhammad has finally made it to that mountain top , the blogosphere will likely be buzzing with reactions to the best team in history of all time. No team in recorded history has ever been as well put together than the Lions. Actually a few other teams do come to mind; Savannah State basketball(2005), Poland & France circa 1939, and the entire XFL. If I could own one franchise in the world next to Manchester United it would be the Detroit Lions. Job Security is quite high for Lions owners, they "fired" Millen yet he still gets a paycheck. You may be wondering how I can think this team is GOOD, however, I never used the word GOOD, I said well put together. Never have so many failures collected in once place since the movie Troll 2 was made. It makes me laugh, the Lions that is, Troll 2 is about as serious as E.T. for the Atari 2600.

Here is where I link a video of Dan Orvlosky running out the back of the endzone.....



Hooray for selective breeding! At least Dan ran through the endzone.

So how did we get to this point? The NFL really isn't that hard, even the Raiders get wins! I really have no idea how it happened, but I definitely know the remedy to what ails the Lions.

THE NFL DRAFT!

I've taken a moment to gather the best prospects to assist the Lions in their takeover of the NFL.

1. Michael Crabtree
1b. Percy Harvin
2. Jeremy Maclin
3. Darrius Heyward-Bey
4. Greg Carr
5. Demetrius Byrd and Brandon Lafell(it's a combo, like a #6 no mayo at Wendy's)
6. Hakeem Nicks
7. Pat White

This recipe will have the Lions contending for the #1 overall seed in a few years. Losing Roy Williams to the Cowboys wasn't an effective use personnel. Their bread and butter is WR's, WR busts! Stick to what you know, it gets you WINS!


*LoL the 11-5 Pats didn't make the playoffs.

Perfection or something like it

Patriots failed me last year.......Lions stepping up to the plate to cure my need for perfection. It's not funny nor cute. ROFL.

The Season Of Malcontent

Just when I had begun to get over football in 2008 or something like it, and before the week of irreparable sadness after final grades come out I was treated to news that a beaver was cheating on me. No not with a stud captain of the basketball team, but with the head of the yearbook club. Shavodrick Beaver decommitted and committed to Oklahoma.....Tulsa, Oklahoma. Bye bye reconstruction, bye bye beaver jokes, hello more mediocrity. Michigan continues to set records this season, even when we aren't on the field.

Its not that he decommitted, its how he did so, what kind of jazz handed douche would decommit from a school two weeks before enrolling. Classy all the way, sure you can throw Tulsa offensive stats at me all you like, but how many players have been drafted from Tulsa..I'll wait. Of that bunch how many were any good? Thanks for playing Shav. NEVER TRUST A PUSSY


Who we got left

Steven Threet-a few bright moments this year, many more bad moments, maybe a year under his belt he can get Nick Sheridan bad.

Nick Sheridan-stfu

Justin Feagin-Rich Rod hates him personally.

Tate Forcier-my god....

Recruits
Denard Robinson-whatever
Tyrik Rollins-whatever
Tahj Boyd-Pryor: The Return

I am currently chartering a flight to Louisiana to steal recipes for corn dogs, funnel cakes and other assorted fried foods to maybe lure Russell Shepard to UM..........

Michigan Recruiting Carousel as per ABC's Wipeout....can you spot Newsome, Beaver, Barnes, McNeal, Fera?



Final Thought: MICHIGAN SETS THE RECORD FOR HOW MANY DUAL THREAT QB's YOU CAN GET TO DECOMMIT IN ONE SEASON!

Michigan Football Winter Formal

Rich Rod is beginning new traditions here at UM. Losing 9 games a year an setting negative records are ones we hope don't become an annual thing. He has also started a foundation for beaten and battered women of California. It's a service that gets pathetic girls out of their natural environment of POOLSIDE and brings them to Michigan to pursue academic endeavors. These beauties come from Tha O.C. The illest place west of Van Nuys......

Anyway Brandy Major, Zulu Mays, Nicole Sher'iac(yes its french like) and Stephanie Treat are our guests of honor at this years winter formal. The Hills of the O.C. are a tough place for girls with HIGH CLASS to grow up, so why not bring them to one of the classiest universities in the nation(Pepperdine refused to accept Brandy).

I am sure they will fit in nicely here with the rest of the female populace, and Zulu has plans to rush Delta Zeta. Hopefully we will see all these girls in Maize n Blue next year cheering on our boys.

GO BLUE.....

Reflection: Pre-Winter Update

As we have ended this sad chapter for Michigan we have sort of forgotten ourselves in the shuffle. Will be fewer updates here during the offseason, mostly just sporadic ideas to make next years blogosphere a little better and the crappy photoshop here and there(Autumn Thunder we miss you).

So few things in this world can still make me happy as much as hot girls, Xbox Live, loafing, and Michigan Football. Well there is still an NCAAT to look forward to....

How many weeks til September?

While we wait for next year, lets start compiling a short list of truths on the season that was Michigan Football 2008.

Lord is that TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

1. We won 3 games
2. We lost 9
3. We lost to a MAC school
4. We had the most fumbles in D1A
5. We had "Special" teams
6. Johnny Sears has two cousins...Stevie Brown and Charles Stewart
7. Sheridan is horrible
8. Sheridan is a terrible walk on
9. Cone didn't get to play over Sheridan
10. Cone has been on the team since I was born
11. Sheridan never had a QB rating over 50
12. Sheridan is good for 5 losses....easy.
13. Threet isnt very mobile
14. Threet isnt a great passer
15. Threet just isnt
16. Minor was good when he played
17. McGuffie was alright before he lost a piece of himself
18. Pray for McGuffie
19. Odoms doesnt like cold weather
20. Neither does Justin Feagin
21. Odoms will be a solid slot WR next year
22. If Odoms remembers to catch the ball
23. Feagin has excellent feet
24. Feagin has pretty nifty feet
25. Feagin is fleet of foot
26. We dont know anything else about Feagin, thanks Rich Rod
27. RR has trouble getting the right guys on the field
28. Stevie Brown is an abortion
29. So is Kevin Grady
30. We had the lead in about 80% of out games this year
31. We blew the lead in about 72% of our games this year
32. Feagin almost threw a pass
33. Carlos Brown never got to either
    
34. Zoltan has to win some kind of award for Heroism
35. We had decommitments
36. Minnesota is a fraud
37. ND fans got cocky for no reason
38. No one can complain about this year, we all wanted Lloyd to step down
    
39. We never got shut out
40. We always scored an offensive td(cough cough Ohio State)
41. We never gave up 50 points(hrmmmph LSU)
42. We dont have a HOT chick alum who attends games.......we need one
43. Brandon Graham is THE HURRICANE
44. Adidas was the worst idea ever
45. We had 7 turnovers in one game yet still had more total yards
46. Beaver Stadium white outs arent that intimidating to teams that suck
47. They also used to wear pink
48. That Block M in the student section was MAJESTIC
49. Actually it looked half asleep, but im an optimist
50. We werent as bad as 2007 Notre Dame
51. Holy crap we had 10 nationally televised games this year plus 2 games on some network
52. We had a punt return td
53. WE HAD 2 FAKE PUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111eleven
54. We had an epic comeback/lolfest
55. I ordered 20 chicken wings every saturday at $13 per order
56. We didnt wrap up most of the time
57. It was mostly Johnn....err Stevie Brown
58. We were young
59. We WILL BE BACK IN 09!!!!!

Wow, short list kinda became a little long.......

Feel free to comment and add your own, ill add em' in.

More to come soon