Media Coverage: Michigan vs Western Michigan

Forecast: Sunny
Listening To: Exhibit A(Transformations) by Jay Electronica

Please excuse my brevity, tardiness and otherwise dry post. I'm about a week out of surgery and the only cure was Michigan on Saturday.

I smiled, I laughed(it hurts to do so) and I cheered. All for a team that has come together surrounding 365 days of turmoil. 365 days of questions, and 365 days of doubt. The fanbase is behind the team, as was most evident from a big house that i could hear out of my television, something that had become unheard of. I enjoyed myself, I didn't want it to end, this week will go by too slow..... I'm waiting.


Notes:

1. What can you say about tate other than just wow. Throwing on the run, directing traffic, getting those few yards we need for a 1st down. His time is coming soon.
2. D-Rob. WOW. Get this kid a little more of the playbook or I see Feagin 2.0...minus all the coke deals gone wrong.
3. Sheridan, I really like him as a person. However, his time is up, and the coaching staff needs to realise this.
4. J.T. floyd. The hell?
5. Vincent Smith is about 1 block from breaking one, kid is lightning.
6. Where was Odoms. I'm not up on injuries and all, dont think he caught one ball.
7. 31 pts in 1st half. 0 pts in 2nd half.
8. Donovan, relax man, too many penalties by you.
9. Graham deserved atleast 2 sacks.
10. Juniour Hemingway will be the stud he should have been last year.

IT'S NOTRE DAME WEEK

Explaining Feaginomics......again

So, as you know this blog loves anything and everything Justin Feagin. Still patiently waiting to see the boy throw. Well I guess you can say he "threw" his life away. Rich Rod apparently kicked Feagin off the team for a violation of team rules.


Lets analyze what could be considered a team rule.

1. Missing practice
2. Missing class
3. Missing team function
4. General tom-foolery

However as reported by the Detroit Free Press, Feagin was involved in a botched cocaine deal. Now in my understanding of business ethics, botched cocaine deals are BAD. They also fall under the umbrella of other things such as

1. Rape
2. Extortion
3. Whatever the guys on To Catch a Predator are
4. Tax evasion

Feagin's foil in this epic picture is a guy named Burke. TJ Burke. This guy really likes fire, and it appears he tried a long forgotten intimidation tactic against Feagin. ARSON!!!!!!!!! So maybe Feagin's dorm didn't burn down, but that would've made for a great calamity now wouldnt it.

Feagonomics

1. Michigan football
2. Cocaine
3. ??????
4. Profit!!!!!!

Countdown to kickoff!!!!

It's Not Christmas...It's JULY!

1. It's too hot to go outside.
2. Bored.

Let's go play NCAA 10

EA Sports: NCAA Football 10 Video

Yes, that was Stevie Brown laying the WOOD!

No Im Not Dead....

Welcome to the Doldrums. Im bored, you're bored. Nothing happening in Michigan football land. Sweater puppets are popping out all over this SWINE infested nation. Get out and go look at them, or go read mgoblog.


P.S. I scored 17 pts in pick up bball. 8 dimes as well and 5 boards.

Breaking Down "Barwis Beach"

Word on the street is Barwis has brought the beach to A2. Lets get a few things straight first. It's not a beach nor did Barwis invent it. The sandbox has been delighting children for decades first and with the help of our favourite video publisher(Rockstar), its been delighting everyone else. The original sandobox is traces back to Henry and Helal Hassenfeld. Had they not formed a childs alliance, we would not have things like Candyland, Red Light Green Light or Wacky Wall Walkers. However, this is all beside the point. Barwis took something people love, and made people love it even more. How many "beaches" do you know where the temperature is always 70 degrees and are not located in 3rd world countries? I'll wait.

Anyway, Barwis Beach has brought a new form of conditioning to Michigan. Running on sand is stupid, unless you are in Barwis' S&C program. You ever wonder why so many folks enjoy long WALKS on the beach?

Testimonials about Barwis Beach

Tate Forcier: "Man, Im from Cali, and this beach is nothing like the beach parties I went to back home. There weren't even any babes!"

Big Will: "Da hell is a beach?"

B. Graham: "This is a great idea by Coach Barwis, I've risen to the challenge of explosive training on the sands of Barwis Beach"

B. Minor: "Barwis Beach smells like a back alley in NYC."

S. Brown: "My skills are becoming more fine tuned over there. My cuts and angles are sharper on the playing field."

There you have it, the beach is paying divdends for Michigan S&C. Why did it take 80 years for Michigan to institute more natural routines of strength training?

It's not a party, it is serious business.
A2

22 Up: A National Signing Day Adventure

Now, I found myself following the trials and tribulations of recruiting since Shavordrick Beaver dropped us from his early enrollment list. Let's just say, it will probably be the last time I do it. I found myself reading every column and hearing every rumor until about a day ago when I threw down my certified locks over on the scout.com board. Robinson-Witty-Stokes. 3 for 3 I might add, but the best part about this is Tate finally has some comp that could remove the permanent lip lock between he and Rich Rod. With Rob in the fold we now have a really passer who is also an explosive running threat(one who Rich Rod might actually play....insert tears for Feaginomics). Witty is better than Stevie Brown, without a doubt and the kid currently has an injury. We will get it all sorted out in the Summer. Glad to see Je'Ron stokes ditch Rofltop Tennessee in favour of a team that isn't built around Eric Berry. Rich Rod said in his presser said he could go inside or outside. I'd prefer to see him stay on the outs, as I don't think there is enough room for him on the Slot Machine. Losing Montgomery was pretty much a forgone conclusion as him mother dropped us earlier this week but we were trending towards inking DeQuinta Jones. We didn't. How about Pearlie Graves? With SEC-Speed he bolted for Arkansas. Never thought we would be out done by Arkansas, but the draw of those "southern belles" are too strong for some. So overall we went 3/5 on the day, not your Snake-Oiling of 2008 but still a solid effort to hold serve where we were expected to. Now we need to get all these kids QUALIFIED and in the fold, as Tate and Big Will are already getting Barwisized, leaving the other non-early enrollees behind. ESPN is still retarded when it comes to doing anything not affiliated with showing Big 10 games at noon on Fall Saturdays.


Something I'm lost on.

Why does Florida even recruit anymore?

Live Illustrated w/ the Nick Sheridan

We had the pleasure to sit down with the most decorated Michigan QB of last 20 years. Not the Rings of Brady or the Records of Henne but the Rubbish of Sheridan.

Now this goes without saying but I firmly believe he along with Stevie Brown were directly responsible for 2-3 losses this year.

Lets give the man a chance to clear the air.

NayVar: Pleased to have you tonight Mr. Sheridan.

Sheridan: Im not sure how you got into the Giants practice facility.

NV: This is an IHOP.

Sheridan: Where true champions train.

NV: Can I call you walk-on? It just rolls off the tongue better.

Walk-On: No.

NV: Thanks. Ok Walk-on, how would you sum up your initial season at QB for Michigan.

W.O: I'd say it was a great work, yet I can only do so much with the talent around me. A player of my caliber requires other athletes to fit my style.

NV: Carl Lewis types?

W.O: Yes, "thems" Mediterranean types.

NV: He's black.

W.O: Isn't unlimited pancakes a great promotion?

NV: A better one was Threet to starting qb this year.

W.O: You know, I respect Steve, he and I have a long history, but as Matt Leinart said "The better team lost this time."

NV: You both play for the sam....

W.O: TEAM SHERIDAN!

NV: Would you care to explain this photo.

W.O: Yea that isn't me.

NV: No, but it is a beautiful ball you placed so aptly into the hands of the other team.

W.O: Nope, wasn't I. Mathews ran the incorrect route. Lord do you see that placement. That's a good ball right there, Heisman caliber.

NV: How have you reacted to the many monikers(Human Victory Cigar, Sheridamnit, etc.)?

W.O: Well when you are good you're always going to have haters. I just sort of shrug it off and play my game.

NV: That game may be coming to an end with Nader Furrha planning to walk-on as QB and with Threet, Forcier and possibly Denard Robinson all in the fold what do you plan to do?

W.O: You just get out there and buy into the Barwis system. In the end it will all work itself out.

NV: Are you familiar with David Cone?

W.O: No, who is he?

NV: The pace car in this "clipboard management" Employment 500.

W.O: I've got the experience under center, and you can't teach experience, you can't replace experience, you can't ignore experience.

NV: You also have a one way ticket back to Ann Arbor obscurity, and also 0 experience in plays of positive yardage.

NV: With that said I can see you are becoming hostile towards my presence. I hope to see you at the Spring Game, getting your just deserts.


Nick Sheridan: Michigan Football 2008-2008

If there were no mirrors we would all be beautiful

The 2009 recruiting year is coming to a close. Yes shocking, I am talking about recruiting again. With a few early enrollees already signed, and majority of commits strong verbals that leaves us with a couple of Florida Kids, The Palmetto Pair, The Stoking of Fires and a couple Soft Serves.

We get: Robinson, Witty, Washington, Jones and Stokes.

Why do I feel so confident in this? Not insider information, nor do I contact any of these recruits(as it would be a violation). Call it a hunch, call it a feeling. I call it analysis. Reading between the lines. People placate others, say things to get people to leave them alone. I say I'm going to do stuff all the time and don't just because I'm sick of talking about it. Sort of as much as I'm sick of talking about recruiting period. Let me know who I have to work with, get 'em conditioning and get us back to respectability.

Snake Oil Chances
Montgomery- 50/50
Graves-50/50
Mingo-DNE
Haulstead-DNE

It Cannot Be!

Please Lord, don't do this too me.


Update: I just bought about 10 of those Tyson Hot Wings from the grocery store.

After Further Review

Seems Michigan wants to stay on the minds of its fans, haters and those affiliated with ESPN. Well you know what, I want to review oral skills, and after that review I suspect there will be inconclusive evidence to overturn that statement.

Greg Robinson. Before I say anything negative about this guy let me say he has 2 Superbowl Rings.

Good God, is this the best candidate we could come up with? Well in fact yes. You don't get into the NFL because you are mediocre in getting the most out of your talent, and you certainly don't win Superbowl's. This was with the Champ Bailey-less Broncos too. This man knows how to coach his talent, he's not a recruiter. Other staff members can recruit, he's here to coach the players. If the defense is good, you won't need to recruit as it will sell itself. You may say he sucked as a coach at Syracuse. Sure he may have slowly torpedoed the Orange, but 6-6 isn't exactly a mark of a great program. Surprise surprise, they haven't been very good since Donovan Left. Not all his fault, they were easily the Duke of the North.

Who am I kidding? Our D will probably suck next year.

Now for something completely different

Top 10 UM studs of the BCS+1 Era

10. Marlin Jackson
9. Ian Gold
8. Chad Henne
7. Chris Perry
6. Anthony Thomas
5. Jake Long
4. Mike Hart
3. David Terrell
2. Braylon Edwards
1. Charles Woodson

Top 10 UM Brick Sh**houses of the BCS+1 Era

10. Jason Gingell
9. James Whitley
8. Ronald Bellamy
7. Ryan Mundy
6. Kevin Grady
5. Carson Butler
4. Stevie Brown
3. Doug Dutch
2. Nick Sheridan



1. Johnny Sears

---

I've been perusing the scout.com board a lot recently. They were actually having a discussion about incoming freshman jersey numbers. One good point was made as I sifted through about 30 posts on what number skirt Forcier will wear and how precious he would look in it. This statement "#2 on defense is sorta like #1 on offense. It should only be given to the best CB" is spot on. You gotta live up to #2. Stop just giving it out. Cato June and Chicken Legs Crable didn't reach those levels. Now there is talk of giving it to a frosh or even Cissoko claiming, hold the phone kiddies, our pass D sucks.

Too Flat Footed

Ok I'll be honest, that I cannot just forget about the defense at Michigan. Although we haven't had a complete D in probably a decade. Michigan can turn out a DL or LB with the best of the rest of D1-FBS. However, our secondary is usually our biggest "snafu." This is the curse of a Chuck. Yes we all know he was the greatest DB to ever play the game, but his presence just seemed to make the rest of the suckendary better. We have had some great individual talents in the past decade(Jackson, Hall, Shazor). The bulk, however, have been sorely lacking any real quality and then a few more were flat out daft. So next season isnt really about the DL or LBs as they will continue to be the anchors of the defense, with some needed improvememnt from our LB corps from this year.

Looking at the projected secondary starters:

LCB-Donovan Warren: Injury riddled Sophmore season. The time he did have on the field was average to Stevie Brown level quality. Would like him to progress into that shutdown corner potential he showed after his freshman season. HE DID NOT STEP OUT ON THAT INT RETURN vs NORTHWESTERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RCB-Cissoko: Had a solid freshman year. Made some freshman mistakes that will be improved with experience. Great closing speed and instincts. Will be very excited for his sophmore year, and expect to see alot of balls his way if Warren rediscovers himself.

SS-Stevie Brown: Whatever.

FS-Mike Williams: Haven't seen him on the field much if at all. Not filling to huge a shoe left by the departing Brandon Harrison.

Incoming/RS DB/S:

J.T. Turner-CB: The accolades this kid recieves aren't without proof to back up those claims. Massillon, OH product is the best CB prospect we have on the team(he's the only one.) Kid has great speed, and he can TACKLE. Tackling is on a slight knowledge basis at Michigan right now.

Watch

Isaiah Bell-S: Now I don't agree with RR decision to move Bell to LB. He either has faith in a secondary that hasn't been complete since our last Rose Bowl win or is not content with the LB unit. Either way, moving him to LB takes away a big play safety that UM really needs. Bell is a ball hawking safety, with nose for the ball and great speed for his position.

Watch

Brandon Smith-S: Imagine Isaiah Bell and Justin Feagin had a baby. There you have something similar to Brandon Smith. Imagine him intercepting a pass and then winding up and throwing it 48yds the other way. I want to see something like that, after last season I've seen it all.

Now I don't expect our defense to be world beaters this year, we have alot of youth on our side. B-Graham will depart after this upcoming season, but if we cultivate Lalota and Roh correctly we shouldn't have too many hiccups.

Please Stevie, improve, please!

Youtube Fridays: The Recruits

Now I'm not one to get into the recruiting side of UM Football as 18 year old kids change their minds about what they want to do more than women do on a Friday night. NLOI day is when it all matters, but after the whole Beaver and McNeal incidents maybe its best to get in on players im slightly interested in and may be the first and last time I ever do this. This is not to be interpreted as bi-curious, but as players I want to see in Rich Rods system. Thats to say we ever get to see his system in A2.

Robert Forcier



Im really beginning to get high on Lil man Tate. I haven't seen much of his arm, as I don't care. It has to be better than Sheridans easily. Damn I still wish Rich Rod let Feagin throw just once. Forcier reminds me of a more athletic Steven Threet. He just looks like a better runner out there. He's eerily reminiscent over everything John Navarre wasn't. I wonder if he's got some co-ed already doing his homework, so he can study the nuiances of zone read and bubble/wr screen.

Excitement Level: Opening Weekend

Jeremy Gallon



Holy Sh**. Did I just see him throw the ball!?!?!?!?!?! I never want to see that happen in The Big House. We can save parlor tricks like that @ Sparty or @ Iowa. What is it with RR recruiting QBs to play slot WR anyway? Great feet, great vision, good speed. I read he was dominating the ARMY AA practices and would've in the game had it not been for injury.

Hes going to be a part of my "Slot Machine" at UM. Dream Shake, Feaginomics, Gallon, Odoms.

Excitement Level: Opening Weekend

Teric Jones



He's got great speed. Could be part of the SLOT MACHINE, but that bus is getting kind of full. Will come in as a RB like Sam McGuffie. Won't see the time McGuffie got as RR already knows Minor is good and won't have to find out in week 7. Plus we have Carlos Brown and Michael Shaw. Sorry, but its looking like a RS year for Teric.

Excitement Level: Sept 19th vs Eastern Michigan

Ricardo Miller



Just a taste, hes 2010. Pay it no mind.

Excitement Level: N/A

No, I am not excited about defensive commits. Stevie Brown and Charles Stewart have put me off of defense. So lets just try to score more points than the other team from here on out.

Don't Go Changing...Too Much

First let me just say I need to get me a new UM jersey.

Ok, it seems UM Football didn't cease and desist on the authority of the Office of the President of the United States. We cranked it up a notch, as to welcome in 2009 with a BANG.

Rich Rod fired Shafer. Neat, another new DC. We seem to be changing DC's like how often we fumbled last year. This is going to be I think our 4th DC since 2005. Yawn, let's move onto the kids. its all about the KIDS!

Will Campbell-You didn't fool anyone, some people obsess, those people look in student directories. I am not those people. Atleast you did what I would do, and get paid vacations to the SOUTH. Smart move my man.

Army AA Game-I didn't watch, I didn't care to. Only a few people have signed an LOI.

We are still looking for another QB commit in the 09 class. If its not Denard Robinson(D-Rob), then I lack emotional feeling(care). As I found myself watching Tate highlighs on youtube. Im actually alright with him running the offense next year, or even a better THREET until we can get our RR needed option QB.

While on the thought of youtube. The Mixtape Messiah/Youtube Sensation is gone. Stop talking about it.

With that said it's 2009, and we need a new face of Michigan on "the youtube".

Introducing: The Dream Shake



Terrence Robinson shall hereforth be referred to as Dream Shake. Not to be confused with :



Other Famous Dreams:
Hakeem The Dream
MLK I have a Dream speech
Keep On Dreamin'

Im salivating thinking about Feaginomics, Dream Shake, and Odoms in a 5 wide set. Thats a Ménage à trois for those keeping track at home. SPEED hath come to UM, and it is GOOD!

Im also curious as to who will wear the coveted #2 jersey next year? #2 is my favourite jersey number at UM. I dont want to end up with a #2 jersey and its being worn by Stevie Brown.

Suitable donners of #2

• Feaginomics
• Dream Shake
• Cissoko
• Warren
  

It's almost national signing day.....

Where Ive Been.......

Ahhhhh yes, where the hell have I been? Well it's back to the toil and grind of the engineering program here at NC State for spring semester. Ive spent more time in the library these past week since classes started than I've spent at home(not including sleeping). Anyway, that's what it is, that's what it ought to be. Mmmmmm pizza rolls diet is muy muy bien!!!!


It seems in my want for higher knowledge some things have happened. Let me address that which has no bearing on what Michigan did/does in the NCF world.

Florida won another title or did Bob Stoops lose another BCS game? Neither, America lost it's damned mind for

1. Picking these two teams to represent the "champion" of FBS.
2. Letting Fox cover it.

Well the former wasn't so bad, as it turned out to be a real defensive struggle, as Big Game Bob managed to get stopped at the goalline on 3rd 4th and 5th down(I'm sure you all have seen the video). The latter is a reason Oklahoma got a "5th" down. I fell asleep sometime before halftime and was awakened by the urge to urinate and saw this:


Now don't get me wrong, fans showing emotion is as American as Mega Waterparks and the fitted hat. Yet what sets this one from?

1. 1
2. 2
3. 3
4. 4
5. 5
   

The above are all BROS! K bro, you can cry with me bro, and I'll pretend to be the strong silent one. She's female, females cry, they cry a lot actually. Her tears moved me, to the bathroom to pee, then to find the remote to turn the tv off and go to bed.*









Draft Dodging

It appears that all the QB studs appear to be ducking going into the draft. You may think you know why, and give all these stupid reasons, like National Titles, Heisman's, Rivals, Pageantry, Degrees, Professors, Meal Plans, Student Ids.

It's dumb. Argument below:

In college one big time student athlete is expected to make prolly about $100k in shady alum/booster deals, attend class a few times a month, make some appearances for some fund raising cause, get much random play.

In the pros a big time draftee is expected to make maybe $5 mil, attend team meetings a few times a month, make some PR appearances, get serious amounts of random play.

So why go back to school?

Here's Why:


No American male would pass up A for B unless the LIONS stand in their futures. Sanchez left, but only because he has a lead blocker in Matthew Stafford to take on the Lions in the hole as he can gallop through to a possibly better NFL Career.

Matthew we salute you as being cause distraction.

---

Oklolhoma has a problem with criers. Hey Urban Meyer's nickname is Urban Cryer, LOL I crack myself up...

Ann Arbor Transit Authority is Bussin to Bowls!

Winter season got you down? Are you a failure at bowl pick em's and memorabilia collecting? Did you almost make it in college but you blew out your knee in spring practice freshman year at Division II Mercyhurst? We'll the Ann Arbor Transit Authority aka "The Ride" has a deal for you.

Pack up your Jerry Rice posters because we are hitting the road. Touring cities that host some of your favourite bowl games. Field passes, tours, even great food! All we need from you is two forms of government issued identification, a deposit of $19.95 and don't forget to get in you parental permission slips.

I'm sure your interest has been piqued, but you're probably

• Asking your wife for permission to have your balls back
• Jumping on this deal before it shoots up to $99.99
• Clutching your Ryan Leaf rookie cards
• Wondering about the "fabulous" locations.

Let's not bullcrap each other. You need this. So let's blow that last paycheck you got from Wal-Mart and enjoy these fantastic destinations.

Detroit-Home of the motor city bowl, the greatest football franchise ever and soothing rhythmic soul music. Have you ever wanted front seats to the death of the American auto industry?

Washington D.C.-What is the EagleBank and why do they have a bowl game? Lot of history in this town, also the smell of garbage trucks. If you can avoid the construction and take in all of "Chocolate City" you'll definitely be back for more.

Las Vegas-You can't afford it.

New Orleans-Mmmmmm the smell of a state fair year round. Southern hospitality. Where else can you get a funnel cake on this corner, and robbed on the next one? Hold on to your wallet, butthole and febreeze....you're gonna need all of them.

Charlotte-This city is more known for the banks that are headquartered here. I don't trust banks, I trust this guy:

Yes , Augustus Meineke. When he wasn't writing hot adult erotica he was studying catalytic converters and constructing exhaust systems. He was so skilled in the art of mufflers he created a repair company so aptly named Meineke Car Care in 1836. He ran several locations in the tri-county area until his death in 1870, when his son, a failed cable repair man brought the company to New Jersey.

Shreveport-See New Orleans

Birmingham-Close enough to Talladega. Boogity boogity boogity, lets go racin!

Mobile-Where?

Fort Worth-Its right across the street from Big D. We all know who plays for Big D. Getcha popcorn ready, its gonna be a SHOW.....on a little smaller scale, however.

Boise-They have a blue field. Boise IS NOT A STATE!

Nashville-First in line when legislators thought it was more efficient to put the state capital as close to the centre of the state as possible. Too bad the eastern and most western parts of the state are full of extras from the movie Wrong Turn.

Toronto-While visiting our neighbors to the north be sure to assist the newly homeless. You may recognize them as your neighbors Billy Ray and Mary Sue. They fled here to escape socialism after Obama was elected only to find out Canada is kind of socialist, they are now anti government and Darwin is anti them.

Finally we have come to the end of our 2 million mile journey. Now back to reality, Monday water cooler discussions and shift huddles.

Stay tuned for more updates, we may be going abroad. Can you say Jaurez, Mexico?